You Are A Dik, Dik.

Can someone please tell me something? Why is it that the one post on this blog to get a significantly larger audience than any other post on my blog is the one titled, “You’re Such A Dik Dik!” ????

Seriously though. I have no problem with people reading that article. Really, I don’t. But ironically, it’s one of the posts on this blog of mine that took the least amount of effort. It was a spur of the moment commentary about something my friend had just told me about. Believe me, there are way better posts on this blog than that one. Really.

I’m pretty sure this post really just gets the most viewership traffic beause of it’s title. So maybe I should just start giving all my posts crazy titles. But then, my wordpress.com stats seem to weirdly suggest that tons and tons of people are daily searching this website with the key words, “dik dik.” Or maybe I just do not understand how to read the wordpress.com’s stats page. Because I really find it hard to believe that so much of the world is really searching for blogs about the Dik dik. So strange.

Can someone please explain this to me?!?! Thanks.

Stevie Wonder of the X-Men

Stevie Wonder was at The White House yesterday to receive an award and to give a performance. The event can be seen here: 

http://www.pbs.org/inperformanceatthewhitehouse/?gclid=CO3qmq2I_ZgCFQETGgodWkqhlw

My brother and I were watching the special occasion on TV, and I said, “I think Stevie Wonder should take off his sunglasses.” I mean, how bad could his eyes really look? I don’t think we would think any less of him if we saw cock-eyes. Granted, I know his sunglasses do up his cool factor, but still. I’m curious to see him without the shades.

Stevie Wonder at The White House

My brother responded, “Maybe he’s like that character in the X-Men, Cyclops. Maybe if he takes his sunglasses off, he’ll shoot laser beams uncontrollably from his eyes!” Haha. 

There you go, folks. Stevie Wonder is our newest member of the X-Men. And it’s fitting, since he was just in The White House. No, I’m not making fun of his blindness by calling him a mutant. The X-Men are pretty cool! Stevie Wonder would be like, twice as cool if he were an X-Men (which is pretty cool, because he’s already pretty high on the coolness scale!).

LASERS!!!

Baby Names and Singing Men

I have come to a recent discovery about guys who like me (whom I like back). There have been a number of occasions when conversations turn to either the discussion of future children’s names (with the imagination that the two of us will at some point procreate) or a conversation which somehow involves the guy singing to me. Yeah, pretty strange. 

When I was younger, my friends and I used to think up what we would name our future children. We used to dream up the perfect names for our future kids and try to imagine what last name we would grow up to take as our own. It was a game to us. But these days, those fantasies have become a little more realistic. I have friends who are married. I have friends who have their own kids. It is so weird. And now that I have reached “that age,” I have come to discuss baby names with guys. It is especially odd for me, since I am really not interested in having children anytime soon. But nonetheless, the topic of future children’s names has still come up. Granted, since I am not interested in having my own kids, I have taken this conversation to be more joke-like. For example, my newest baby name idea (as a joke) is Alex Ovechkin (as a first name only.) So for an example, using “Smith” as a last name and “Jane” as a middle name (because the Alex in Alex Ovechkin could work for either gender) The full name would be: Alex Ovechkin Jane Smith. Pretty crazy, but then again, people (aka: Gwyneth Paltrow) have been known to name their kids some pretty weird names (aka: Apple).

As for this whole singing phenomenon, I know I am a good listener. I even enjoy listening, sometimes maybe more than talking.  So many people (not just guys) feel comfortable talking (a lot) to me. I guess this emphasizes my sometimes passive personality.  So it is no surprise that if a guy is comfortable talking to me, he will also apparently be comfortable singing for* me. (*Note: Just because a guy will sing for me, does not necessarily mean he is singing to me.) So, consequently, I have had guys sing to me (most often over the phone). It’s cute, really. And I’m not complaining either! And I have yet to experience a singer who truly makes me cringe at their voice…nice! [Also to note – singing has not become the way to woo me. I do not suggest breaking out your vocal pipes just because of this blog post. I am just noting the funny coincidence that I have come to discover about how recently, guys will sing for me.]

A Poor Excuse For A Local

While I have lived in the Washington, D.C. area for all of my life (minus my 4 years of college in Baltimore), there are still some classic, staple places in D.C. I have never been to. Thus, I am a lame excuse for a Local. Here is a (growing) list of some places I have yet to experience (or at least in the past 20 years or so) :

• Steak N’ Egg (Tenleytown)
• The 9:30 Club
• Ben’s Chili Bowl
• The Black Cat
• The City of Clarendon (it’s in Virginia, I know, but it’s nearby)
• I haven’t been to Adams Morgan in far too long (except for driving through it)
• The World War Two Memorial
• The National Postal Museum
• Iwo Jima Memorial 
• The Mayflower Hotel (just to pop inside and take a look….not to stay at)
• A D.C. United soccer game

Ok, I don’t want to add too many  things to my list, but that is a brief rundown. Yes, it’s a travesty that I have yet to go to the 9:30 Club or Ben’s Chili Bowl. Who do I think I am?!?! Ha.  However, I do go to most of the museums on (or near) the mall on a pretty close to weekly basis. So that’s not too terrible.

I Was Like, He Was Like

Have you ever noticed how recently, most everyone has started taking to the phrase, “was like” to describe when a person was speaking, as opposed to just simply saying, “said”??? Here’s an example of a typical, everyday conversation:

Person A:  I was talking to him and he was like,“‘I can’t hear you, I have to go.” and so I told him, “ok,” and was like, “I’ll try to call you later.”

Person B:  That’s weird that he couldn’t get good signal on his phone. Was he like, “I’m losing reception, I can’t hear you” ? Or was he more like, “I can’t hear you, I can’t talk to you right now” ?

Now that’s just a sample conversation, but you can obviously tell (with the use of color) that “was like” has become the replacement for the word, “said.” I say it’s poor grammar on our part. And it isn’t even like saying, “was like” is a shorter and faster way to talk about talking, either. Saying “said” takes less breath and time in conversation and is more specific and to the point. -And it makes much more sense. Here is the above exchange, if the word, “said” (or say) is replaced everytime, “was like” was used:

Person A:  I was talking to him and he said,“‘I can’t hear you, I have to go.” and so I told him, “ok,” and said, “I’ll try to call you later.”

Person B:  That’s weird that he couldn’t get good signal on his phone. Did he say, “I’m losing reception, I can’t hear you” ? Or was he more saying, “I can’t hear you, I can’t talk to you right now” ?

I am going to venture a guess that this strange word substitution stemmed from the famous “Valley Girl” way of talking most commonly found in California in the 1990s. Another more common example of this “dialect” is the too-frequent use of the word, “like” as a gap-filler in sentences, where normally there aren’t even gaps to be filled. The word, “like” in such an overuse, is similar to stuttering or saying, “um” or “uh” while at a loss for words. 

While, the phrase, “was like” actually has a similar meaning to the term, “said,” “like” in the above mentioned Valley Girl-like speech, is not meant to represent anything more than a nervous habit of sorts.

To Key To Winning: Be Foreign Or Be Dead

Scene:  The Academy Awards: 2009 February 22, 2009, 8 PM EST

It seems that the way to win an Oscar these days, is to be foreign-born and/or dead. Those are the two biggest characteristics that the majority of last night’s Academy Awards shared.

Let us review some of the 2009 Oscar winners who fell into these categories:

• Kate Winslet (Best Actress) – born in England
• Slumdog Millionaire (Best Picture, among other awards) –  from India
• Penelope Cruz (Best Supporting Actress) – born in Spain
• Heath Ledger (Best Supporting Actor) – born in Australia  AND IS DEAD.

I think the Academy Awards should only be for pure-bred Americans. The awards take place in the U.S. and most of the movie are American-made. Let’s get rid of these foreigners and take back control of our country’s entertainment industry! Since there are so many foreign actors these days, why don’t we just hold the Alien Academy Awards (AAA for short.)

And then there’s the next point: Heath Ledger, while one of the most versatile actors as of late, and totally deserving of an Academy Award is also kind of dead. He’s not actually able to receive an award. My friend who has always dreamt of winning an Oscar, was complaining to me when he found out that Heath Ledger won:

“If I were nominated for an Oscar, and was lost to a dead guy, I would be so annoyed and upset. I lost to a dead guy?!?!”

I joked that to get an award, maybe you just have to die. How unfortunate and ironic. “Dead” is so “in” right now. Maybe to go along with the Alien Academy Awards (AAA), we should also hold an Oscars: Dead (O.D.) version of the annual awards ceremonies too. It would include all of the great actors who have died.  My friend and I discussed some of the past winners which would include:

• Paul Newman
• Katherine Hepburn
• James Dean
• and now Heath Ledger. (Why not put him in his own category of dead actors, where he would better fit in?!)

So those are my thoughts on the winners. Some other things I feel the need to point out are the top 2 scariest moments of the 81st Academy Awards:

1. Tilda Swinton’s “garment of choice.” She looked like a mummy that was trying too hard to fit into life in the 21st century. As if her alien-like looks, aren’t freaky enough, she opted for this bizarre, wrapped up, sloppy top, which also blended too closely into the shade of her skin. I can imagine that from far away, it probably looked like she had numerous flaps of super loose skin. EW.

2. The interview with the kids from Slumdog Millionaire with E! Network’s Ryan Seacrest, wasn’t so terrible as you would expect from a TV host who seems so clueless and out of it. (Granted, he couldn’t and wouldn’t for the life of him, pronounce the kids names, and then failed at an interview with one kid who apparently doesn’t speak any English.)

The thing that did find its way into my top 2 worst moments was E! hostess’, Giuliana Rancic comment after the interview with the kids from the cast:

“Awww, those kids are adorable. They are just so delicious!”

Woah there, Giuliana. Contrary to what you may have learned in the entertainment business, children are NOT for eating. And just because they are from India, does NOT mean they will taste like Gulab Jamun or Chicken Tikka or Naan.

And lastly, has anyone ever heard of the nominated live action short, “The Pig”? Because my brother and I HAVE to see it. It looks like it is about this painting that has become an inside joke amongst my family. If anyone has any information about this movie, I would love to know.

Love At No Sight?

Is it possible to really fall in love with someone even without (ever) meeting them in person? Is it possible to know that it really is love or infatuation even without physically seeing the person? Can photos and a correspondence really be enough information you need to know when you are in love? Or does this just mean that you are in love with an idea of someone? Does the actual, real, physical presence really make that much of a difference as to what love is all about? Or is it just the mind playing tricks on you?

Much of this could be related to the new phenomenon of internet dating. True, the online correspondence is supposed to lead up to an actual physical, meeting in real life. But sometimes you do see those lame commercials on TV where one person describes when they saw the other person’s profile they knew that that person was The One. Can this really be true? Real love via the internet? I’m not totally disregarding the notion, but it is a strange thing to think about.

True, this is “the future” and generations have become so modernized. But whatever happened to real live dating? And meeting people in person? Has the world’s general population somehow managed to grow dumber about love? Man, that would be pretty sad.

But one could argue that having machines do the “hard part” of meeting people for you, is an advance in how we live. Maybe computers and technology are helping us out for the good. Could it be that virtual correspondence and virtual “dating” is helping people learn how to better communicate through words and not actions? For all we know, meeting people through the internet is actually improving our way with language communication.

Penguins? What Penguins?

What happens when you take two birds; one is a non-flying bird who can only live in a certain type of climate, and the other is a strong-willed, symbol of strength who can thrive in most any environment. Put a penguin and an eagle in a fight and I don’t think you’ll be surprised at the outcome.

Let me say that not only did the Caps crush the Penguins yesterday in a 5-2 victory, but I just want to remind all those lame Penguins fans that us, Caps have beaten your team on all three meetings this year. Whatever happened to your play-off run last season? That was apparently short-lived.

A conversation I had at work this morning:

S: Think about it: A penguin on ice is completely natural. Can you imagine the Capitol building on ice? It would crack the ice and sink.

Me: But imagine a penguin in the Capitol building on ice…A penguin would die!

So true.

Slapshot the Eagle is victorious!

Cold Poop?

I overheard some guy on the way into work this morning exclaiming,

“It’s cold as sh*t today!”

So I’m wondering, who came up with that expression? Since when is poop so cold? Why would we be discussing the temperature of our bowel movements? Who would even feel poop to gauge its temperature? Is poop normally cold? (I don’t think so.) Is there a specific kind of poop that is normally colder than the rest? Should we be more specific in referring to that certain type of “frozen poo”? What does poop being cold have anything to do with anything?

Top Chef-D.C!?

Carla, from this season of Top Chef is in the top 3 contestants in the running to win the show. Carla is from D.C.  I was thinking about how cool it would be if she won and to have a resident Top Chef in Washington, D.C. It would be cool to have (or add to) or celebrity status as a city.  (Granted, we do currently have Chef Spike Mendelsohn and his burger joint, Good Stuff Eatery in D.C. Spike was a contestant in season 4 of the show, but sorry to say, he did not win.)

And then I got to thinking…Washington D.C. doesn’t have it’s own signature food. Baltimore has crab cakes, New York and Chicago have Pizza (New York City could also have the corned beef on rye sandwich as it’s food), Philadelphia has the cheesesteak, New Orleans has gumbo (or any Creole food), Seattle has Salmon, and Los Angeles has cocaine (haha, ok just kidding on that one). So maybe with a Top Chef in D.C., we could develop our own new personal dish.