10 Days Later

1 04 2011

The 10 Day Challenge has come and gone and I have some fairly interesting conclusions to draw. To review, the long of this challenge was to go 10 days, without flirting with guys in a promising manner. Basically, I would lead a guy-free life for a little over a week, not showing interest in any guy there could be a potential of any kind of future with. The short of it: 10 days free of online dating or flirting with guys.

Sure, the first few days were surprisingly difficult. But then again, I did have a pretty good distraction throughout the challenge: redecorate a very large, and blank wall in my room. Instead of perusing the pages of an online dating website, I used this challenge to instead waste my time looking at decorating tips and such. This actually turned out to be a sufficient distraction, which I was thankful for.

So what are my conclusions from this trial? Well, for one, a mere 10 days of being guy-free was rather refreshing. If anything, I needed this cleansing practice to revive my unfortunately predictable bad luck with guys. But was it a success? I’m not really sure. I guess it depends on what I was trying to achieve from this experiment. If the goal was to find a guy without really looking, then no, that didn’t work. If the goal was to be less obsessed with trying to get a boyfriend (perhaps a step in the hypocritical method some believe actually does get you into a relationship), then yes, I did succeed in that manner. If the goal was to have a life and stop moping around about my poor dating “luck,” then I suppose I was successful.

However, one thing still sticks out to me. At no time during my 10 days on being without online dating, did I receive a message/email from anyone on the dating site. (I do not need to be active on the site, to receive messages from interested guys.) I received no flirts, no messages, no nothing. In contrast, in recent memories leading up to the 10 Day Challenge, I had been active on the website, messaging guys I could be interested in. Sure, I may not have received messages back from all of the guys, nay, more than 50%, but the point is that I did indeed get messages back from some of the guys I wrote to. Sometimes I even got messages from users I did not initially seek out. So what does this mean? Either 10 days is not a long enough time period to really do a successful study, or that active users garner other active users. Thus, inactive users attract other inactivity. Perhaps, this such website “rewards” activity on the site. It makes sense, but it doesn’t really help my experiment.

Even so though, I do not see the past 10 days as a lost opportunity. I tried to learn how to better communicate with the male gender in a more platonic, casual manner. I admit, I probably still need more help in that area -especially if the guy is cute. But I learned that guys can be people too. That I suppose guys are just like girls, in that we are all simultaneously hopeful and clueless in this confusing dating world. The search continues…




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