Texts From Last Week 11

1 11 2010

Did everyone have a fun and safe Halloween? I know I did. I dressed up in possibly my best costume since I can remember and had fun with friends during the whole weekend. I know a few of you are awaiting a post to be written about the John Stewart/Stephen Colbert Rally that happened on Saturday, but that post will not be up today. Instead I have possibly the most texts from a one-week period to show for you. They start out with a bunch about the ever-awful Metro, but then we get some goodies about the holiday weekend and then some. Enjoy…


“When I’m on the Metro and we’re stopped for a great deal of time, usually this occurs in the mornings, making the commute into work Hellish; I don’t mind. ‘We are holding here momentarily and we regret this inconvenience’ doesn’t say ANYTHING useful to us passengers. There is no point in repeating this useless phrase. Something simple and informative like, “we are single tracking due to a situation between Friendship Heights and Van Ness” would be helpful, but no. Instead I get my metr-fail-updates via a passenger with an iPhone who is announcing his findings to his neighbors. LAME!”

And on a similar note…

“It’s taken the Metro roughly 34 minutes to go 3.5 stops. WTF guys. I’ve been on the Metro when it’s been single-tracking before, but it’s never been this bad! I’m going to guess that it takes me 50 minutes to get home during what should be a 25 minute trip. Fast, normal speed? Yes please! What a concept!” [It actually took around 45 minutes. It was a close guess.]

“I’m starting to use the Metro as a means to improve my sense of balance. I am holding onto the railings less [when I stand]. Besides, if I can avoid contact with these germ-covered poles, that is also a plus. Metro Surfing championship, here I come!”

“I heard a baby crying when it got onto my train this morning. I’d be crying too, if I had to ride the Metro. -Oh wait, I do.”

“Sometimes when I’m bored, I like to wander around a CVS. Some people leisurely grocery shop, but I leisurely pharmacy shop.”

“A French Horn player at the Metro is playing, “The Nutcracker Suite.” Christmas in October? As much as I love that music, that timing’s a tad odd.”

A new record is born: 3 beers in 22 minutes. Wow, go me.”

“The most patriotic part of the rally was The National Anthem. everything else was just silly.”

“My parents are asking me about the term, ‘tea bagging’ and it couldn’t be any more awkward.”

And lastly…

“What Halloween weekend has left me with [that I didn’t have beforehand]: 1 set of handcuffs, 1 red feather boa, 2 bottles of Blue Moon, 2 bottles of Miller Lite, 2 bottles of Fosters, 1 CVS prepared Tuscan Panini, 1 CVS prepared chicken salad wrap, 1 CVS prepared penne and meatballs, 1/2 Bar Louie chicken sandwich, 1 2-liter bottle of Cherry Coke.”




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