The Planet Does Not Need Humans?!

1 09 2010

I’ve got some breaking news! If you haven’t already heard, there’s a hostage situation at the Discovery Channel building in downtown Silver Spring. So what happened? A 40-something year old Asian man by the name of James Lee entered the Discovery Channel building this afternoon around 2pm with a handgun and two backpacks of what is believed to possibly be explosives; pipe bombs to be specific.

The building was evacuated, and the children (in the day care center, I presume) have been rolled out in evacuation cribs. (Seriously, there has been so much news about the children rolling in cribs. My friend joked, “baby i’mma let you roll in my crib anytime if you know what i mean.” Nice.

Anyways, you’re probably confused by this article’s title. I know, I would be. Here’s the deal. Today’s suspect, Mr. Lee (-Yeah, I’m probably going to Hell for that link. Sorry, that’s what came to mind.) is all about how the Discovery Channel is showing all the wrong television shows. Mr. Lee demands that the Discovery Channel show fewer shows that are, “encouraging the birth of any more parasitic human infants and the false heroics behind those actions. In those programs’ places, programs encouraging human sterilization and infertility must be pushed. All former pro-birth programs must now push in the direction of stopping human birth, not encouraging it.”

Basically, Mr. Lee is anti-human race. His site, savetheplanetprotest.com is pretty wacky. He lists all 11 of his demands and then some. The site’s angry language says things such as, “WTF??? STUPIDITY! MORE HUMANS EQUALS MORE WAR!” and, “NO MORE BABIES!” Another memorable quote that describes his position: “You MUST KNOW the human population is behind all the pollution and problems in the world, and YET you encourage the exact opposite instead of discouraging human growth and procreation. Surely you MUST ALREADY KNOW this!” And this: “Saving the environment and the remaning species diversity of the planet is now your mindset. Nothing is more important than saving them. The Lions, Tigers, Giraffes, Elephants, Froggies, Turtles, Apes, Raccoons, Beetles, Ants, Sharks, Bears, and, of course, the Squirrels. The humans? The planet does not need humans.”

Doesn’t his timing seem a little funny though? I think he should have come a few weeks earlier when the building was adorned with a giant shark decoration for Shark Week:

Or was James Lee too scared? Was his plan to let the animals (including giant sharks?) roam the earth free of humans too intimidating even for himself? I honestly think a giant, shark on the building I was protesting would be ironically frightful. And really, if he was threatening to blow up a building that was once adorned with a giant shark, wouldn’t that be a little hypocritical? I guess that maybe his timing to wait until the giant shark was gone, was all in his plan, since he would never want to harm the animals.

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