Pendulum Arms

12 03 2010

There’s a certain breed of people out there that unknowingly are out to make you go crazy. They are most often found on the Metro, though I am sure they also roam the above-ground world, taking to the streets and sidewalks. I call these people, “Pendulum Arms.”

Maybe you’ve encountered them before. They tend to walk in front of you, and swing their arms frantically at their sides as they walk. I understand that for most people, swinging your arms when walking is a natural way to keep you balance, but it isn’t necessary. I get along fine with my hands in my pockets or with minimal to no swinging by my sides.

There are many perils to the Pendulum Arms. Not only does their added “wingspan”  take up more space in a line of width on a walking surface, but when you add the fact that the arms are in constant motion, you get a scary scene. The “pendulum” back and forth, scissor movement creates a back-wind space which in order not to get hit by their arms/hands in motion, you must stand a comfortable distance of a few feet behind these such people.

When walking on the narrow platforms in the Metro system, more often than not, I find myself tragically stuck behind the Pendulum Arms. It’s a potentially hazardous predicament to be in, if you do not know how to handle the situation properly. I have found that usually when I am trying to get someplace quickly, the Pendulum Arms just kind of appear out of nowhere. It is when I am in a leisurely mood, and in no hurry, that the Pendulum Arms do not seem to exist. They seem to thrive on clogging up pathways for others to move by quickly.

Through my experience, one must either be patient and relax when walking or learn the same technique that is offered for perfecting the sport of Dodgeball: The Five D’s: dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge! I imagine that this technique (though still in its development phase) could totally help you overcome the perils of the Pendulum Arms!

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