Metro Shyness

17 11 2009

M. 14   11/17/09

Sometimes I can’t stand how shy I can be. I can be unbearably shy. Granted, I’ve gotten much better with getting over my shyness, due to all the organized social sports I have been participating in, in my post-college life. But I still have a shy temperament. I am still supremely shy when it comes down to being in a new situation or being around people I don’t know. Yesterday was a fine example of this…

I was sitting on the Metro on my way home. The train wasn’t particularly crowded. There were two seats perpendicular to my single seat that had just emptied up. I partially looked up as two attractive guys around my age walked over and took a seat in the seats. There were other seats they could have taken and it seemed like they deliberately sat next to me, which was flattering. These guys were really close to me and I really wanted to turn my head to get a better look at them, but didn’t want them to catch me doing so. I kind of just sat there.

Maybe the guys were trying to get my attention when they started reading and commenting on the poster that was on the train wall right above my head. I cracked a smile when the guys started joking around. When we got to the Tenleytown stop, one guy asked his buddy if this was their stop. It wasn’t and they began to joke about the name, Tenleytown. It was kind of dumb, but funny as they were calling it, “Techno Town;” making up stories about how in Techno Town they only play techno music. It kind of seemed like they were joking around in front of me, seeking a positive reaction from me. They probably were trying to get my attention. Too bad, I was way too shy.

This music discussion led them into a conversation about some really great and nice karaoke bar that was part of a Vietnamese or Thai restaurant. Apparently something happened where they were given free beers from someone. (Yeah, I know this is weird that I am recounting their conversations. But since I didn’t get a good look at them, this is all I have for the memory.)

Then one of the guys looked across the aisle to read the headline on a newspaper some man was reading. The man seemed kind of peeved that this guy was reading his paper from the other side of the train. I thought it was kind of funny. But I kept looking forward/down, unable to at least look at these guys. I really wanted to say something to them, but couldn’t muster anything, nor could I decide what I would even say. I felt terrible.

You know, if I were drunk or something, I would have no problem striking up a conversation with these guys. And the problem is, if under alcohol’s influence, I probably would only just do something simple like look at them or say, “hi.” Those things really aren’t anything major, but I still can not bring myself to do that. But with a little influence from something like alcohol to lower my inhibitions, I seem to almost act like a normal not-shy person. (Now, I’m not saying that I should drink alcoholic beverages all the time. I’m just noting what a little inhibition can do for me in a good way.)

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2 responses

18 11 2009
Matthew Bryan Metzger

Those tools sound like really dumb.

18 11 2009
dazey2

No! They weren’t!

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