Let’s Fall In Love

8 09 2009

L.30  9/8/09

You know what I want to try sometime? I think I’d like to try to fall in love. It seems like all the “rage” these days. All those love-finding television shows, internet dating sites, and friends’ weddings kind of make you want to find love…or throw up.

I know this is a surprise post from such a love cynic like me. But I don’t want people to think that I am anti-love. I don’t want to give off the impression that I’m not open to the idea of having a boyfriend. (Sometimes I think my parents think that of me, which bugs me.) When it really comes down to it, I think I can be quite a romantic. Remember the old scenes of classic movies in the early 1950s and 1960s? You know, where a couple went to the “look-out point” or when a boy gave a girl his pin or his Cracker Jacks ring. It was cute, it was seemingly harmless, it was scandalous, it was racey, it was mutual; it was love.

But I think I’m sick of that feeling of wanting to throw up, gag, or hide under my desk. I think the feeling of being in love would be far more superior. Have I ever for real been in love? Maybe. I think the real question is, have I ever been in love with a person I could be with. (Yes, I have been in love with Alex Ovechkin. I know that might sound silly, because he’s a celebrity and the chances of me ending up with him are slim to none. But I have experienced moments of really being in love with him. Ok, maybe it’s more just infatuation, a la Conrad Birdie, but still.) Again, maybe, but that hasn’t been as promising. But relationship and crush failures aside, I really would like to feel that gushy, lovey dovey feeling.

I look at my married friends and the happy couples in the newspaper celebrating their anniversaries and I grow curious. I wonder what it would be like to not only be deeply in love, but to find The One. To get that feeling of True Love and to know that you want nothing more but to spend the rest of your life with someone and live Happily Ever After. Like, wouldn’t that be a truly wonderful feeling? It sure seems like it. I mean, that’s what all the romantic movies and TV shows make you believe.

So who knows when “my time” will come. I have heard the unfortunately true statement that you tend to find love when you least expect it and when you aren’t looking for it. This is a hard concept for me to grasp, because I seem to always be looking for love. So I guess I need to stop looking for love. But if I’m not looking, then doesn’t that contradict being on online dating sites, too? I think this game of love can be so tiring, and yet we all still keep at it.

I guess something as hopeful and seemingly attainable and promising like love, is such an addicting game, which is why we all seem to keep at it. So the search/hunt continues…




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