The Safe Friend

24 07 2009

History seems to have a habit of repeating itself when it comes to my love  life. Let’s begin with this…what do these people have in common:


Jessica (Natasha Lyonne) - Vicky's sexually experienced friend (from the movie, "American Pie"

Jessica (Natasha Lyonne) - Vicky's sexually experienced friend from the movie, "American Pie"


Jack Tripper, from the TV show, "Three's Company"

Jack Tripper (John Ritter) from the TV show, "Three's Company"















Both of these people are what my friend and I have dubbed, the “safe friend.” You may know the type. They are that friend you have, of the opposite sex, that you can tell everything to and hang out with without any sexual tension or anything. However, Safe Friends can not be gay. They are straight and under any other non-friend like circumstance, you and your Safe Friend could date, but in normal life situations, that would never be the case. Your Safe Friend is also one who you can talk to about dating and advice and gain valuable information from the other gender’s perspective. A Safe Friend can be very informative and nice to have. 

Let’s look at our two examples, shall we? First is the character, Jessica from the American Pie movies. She has such classic lines such as:

Vicky: I want it to be the right time, the right place… 
Jessica: It’s not a space shuttle launch, it’s SEX. 


Jessica: If a guy tells you how many girls he’s hooked up with, it’s not even close to that. You take that number and divide it by three, then you get the real total. OK, so if Kevin is saying it’s been three girls it’s more like one or none. 
Vicky: None? 
Jessica: The rule of three. It’s an exact science. Consistent as gravity. 

As we can tell, Jessica is that friend that knows apparently everything about being sexually active. She’s the go-to girl for information in a very casual setting. People feel comfortable around her and talking to her. Also to note, her character in the movies never has a boyfriend. We are never led to know if she even desires one, but I see that as irrelevant.

Our next example is the character, Jack Tripper, from the popular 70s TV show, Three’s Company. In this show, Jack pretends he’s gay in order to live in a nice, affordable apt. with two other straight girls. (Yes, I realize this is an outdated concept. It was the 1970’s, after all.) Jack is the lovable character who, although is always getting into trouble, is quite a catch in the minds of all the ladies. Jack turns out to be a great roommate who cares a lot for his two female counterparts and advises them in their relationships from a friend’s perspective. While Jack may always have a date ready, none of these girls last long for him. Maybe he was destined to be the Safe Friend.

So, I have discovered that I have become the Ultimate Safe Friend. This is all fine and dandy, but it sure hinders my chances of getting a guy to be interested in me as more than a friend. I do however, have many friends who are straight guys. Many of whom, I consider to be my Safe Friends. It can be awkward and funny how close I am to said Safe Friends, but it’s also pretty cool. I feel privileged. Maybe my growing up with two brothers has allowed me to become close friends with so many guys. I don’t know. 

But here’s my problem. The way I develop my Safe Friends is not always ideal. Often times, I have a crush on a guy, and that guy turns out to be interested in a friend of mine. (This actually happens way too often and it makes me extremely bitter. Not a great situation to be in, believe me.) Then, sometimes the crush and I grow close, in the guy’s attempt to get closer with my friend.  Other times, I realize that since I will have no chance with my crush, I might as well become close with the guy in order to spend a good amount of time together. Other times, the Safe Friend and I may have dated with no luck and turn out to really be meant for each other as friends, and nothing more. 

So what’s a Safe Girl to do when she wants to become more than just a friend with a guy she likes, but is always destined to be the Safe Friend? It’s an inevitable example of history repeating itself in a very terrible way.




3 responses

26 07 2009

You need to watch Just Friends

26 07 2009


20 10 2011
The Token Single Friend « C.A.P.S.Love.

[…] off with the most obvious person (at least to my knowledge, and whom I’ve written about in the past); the movie, American Pie’s character, Jessica. Jessica is that girl in the movie who is […]

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