One Night Stand

15 06 2009

Three night stands: NightStandThreeTwo night stands: Two Night stands with mirror

One night stand: 200121291-001

Can a one night stand really just be a one night stand?

Let me put it another way: let’s say you have two people who partake in a one night stand, and one person is drunk and is very much ‘in the moment’ and the other is sober and very aware of what is going on. Both people are single and attracted to the other and (here’s the kicker) they are both good friends with each other. Is it possible to have just a one night stand without any external feelings, or might it be inevitable for one person (probably the sober one) to develop feelings towards the other?

I guess the real question I’m asking here, is can two friends make out/have sex and still stay just friends and not have it be awkward afterwards? This question seems to be related to the (I think dumb) notion that two straight people of the opposite sex, can not just be friends with each other, because it will become inevitable that one or both will develop feelings for the other. 

I’m taking that assumption one step further, however: two friends have a one night stand. Can they remain friends and not have it be awkward?

Some might say that yes, it is possible to stay friends without any awkwardness only if the two friends were extremely close before the one night stand occurred. If these two friends were so close that they already did everything together and were comfortable with the other’s bodies, then escalating the friendship for a temporary time period will not hurt the relationship. A one night stand could even, make this a stronger relationship between the two friends.

Others might say that this situation between friends could also work if the two were friends before the one night stand, but to a much less degree. Let’s say the friends were not so close, but were just a step higher than acquaintances. If they partook in a one night stand, then the friendship might not be affected, since the friends were never that close to begin with. Hopefully in this situation, the friendship would just continue to go on as it did before the “encounter.”

Another possibility is that yes, in fact a one night stand (to any definition of the term) will definitely change a relationship between friends. Of course the friends can never go back to the way they were before the rendezvous, because that is a more intimate situation that “just” friends would never experience together. Having sex/making out with someone is usually supposed to be towards one you have/would like to have “more than just friend-like feelings” for. So by that definition, any sort of one night stand would in fact, make the friendship awkward in the least, and unfortunately fall apart in the most severe cases.

So if one person only feels the “more than just friend-like feelings” and the other does not, what will happen? The friendship can stay just a friendship or it can escalate to something more. However, at this point, the person who feels “something more” is where this dilemma falls to. The ball is in that person’s court. Either that possible, sober and more aware person* acts on their feelings and risks whatever outcome may be, or that person tries to suppress their feelings, in order to continue the friendship as if nothing had ever happened.

[*This is also feasible for the drunk person to develop such deeper feelings, but usually in these cases, the drunk person is only in it for that currently moment, and will not want anything extraneous afterward the one night stand has ended.]

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4 responses

18 12 2009
daisyjenson

Very interesting argument. I think it is possible for two people or friends to have sex and remain friends, or even have sex and become friends, but its on the great timescale of things.

daisyjenson.wordpress.com

1 06 2010
zee28

I actually just had a scenario like that in my life. I had a one-night stand with someone (an acquaintance – my friend’s brother actually) and am hoping to become friends with him after the fact.

If you want to follow what happens, please check out my blog.

Zee

28 07 2010
zee28

Just updating my comment from here, the result was negative.

I did not end up being friends with my one-night stand. More relationship issues and dilemmas happen for me all the time though. Please check out my blog to read more!

Zee

9 02 2012
The “Non-Love Song” Song Of The Day: The One Night Stand | C.A.P.S.Love Two: The Girl On The JumboTron

[…] just going to put this out there. I’ don’t typically endorse the One Night Stand. But I do support when a heartthrob-musician-famous person writes a song about wanting a one night […]

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