Thoughts On Dying

4 03 2009

“Riding the subway with the scent of her hair

She took out a toothbrush started using it there

She explained “I’m always sure today’s the day I will die

I wanna look good if i get to look God in the eye”

—Those are lyrics from the song, “Oh!” by Eric Hutchinson.

I especially like this verse because the girl in the song exclaims how she’s “always sure today’s the day [she] will die.” I am not a morbid person, but I often feel the same way. 

This is because there are always freak accidents and people could die in many ways. Often times, people believe that “that could never happen to me” regarding dying in an abnormal situation. (Some examples of these “freak accidents” which I am specifically referring to are a vehicle crash or fire, murder, house/building fire, trampled to death,weather-related incident, natural disaster, drunk drivers, etc.)  I’m not saying that if I counteract such thoughts, then I will be overriding the freak death possibility. I also do not want to give off the impression that I am either suicidal or constantly think about death and dying, because that is so very untrue. I am not goth or emo, I do not obsess over death. But every now and then, I think about the possibility that I could die in ordinary situations. (Yes, I do happen to love the movie, Harold and Maude by the way.)


On a related note, I have often thought about how I would like my funeral to be. (Yes, I know I will not really be alive to make any judgement calls at the actual event, but I am still allowed to imagine the “perfect funeral.”

I know that at many funerals these days, guests choose to simply dress nicely out of respect. But whatever happened to the tradition of wearing all black? Yes, wearing black can be seen as depressing, but it’s not like death is a happy thing, anyways. At my funeral, I would really appreciate it if everyone wore all black. -The way it should be.

I have often thought about the setting of my funeral. I used to really want it to take place in the rain, ideally. (I know you can’t plan the weather for an occasion, but if the funeral happened to coincide with rain, that would be nice.) But why rain? Because (going along with the tradition of wearing all black), rain usually signifies something sad or depressed. (At least that’s the case in the movies and books…) People standing around with big, black umbrellas, getting wet would be a very sad scene. Perfectly sad. (Ok, I have also taken into account that the rain could distract people from the funeral. For example, guests might be too distracted about trying not to get so wet, to properly focus on the funeral, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take.) If anything, a rainy funeral will be very memorable.

This past winter, my grandmother died and I went to my first ever funeral. It took place in the freezing, snowy weather. I decided that even better than raining for my funeral would be if it snowed. I have always loved snow. So instead of the purpose of rain adding to a somber mood, a colder and prettier precipitation such as snow, could comfort those thinking about me. While snow is still some form of wet thing falling from the sky, snow if prettier than rain and more gentle. And it makes the ground more just pretty and white than brown and wet. Also, from my artistic standpoint, if everyone is wearing all black, the whiteness of the snow would be a very nice contrast (for pictures or not).




One response

5 03 2009

I think you should watch Six Feet Under. If not already accomplished.

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