Ryan Malone Is A Hipster

17 05 2011

Today I am writing on the topic of facial hair. This time it’s not restricted to the playoff beard that hockey players have been sporting lately, but rather, the not so often seen playoff mustache. But it’s a certain type of mustache which I’m focusing on today. Once more, I’m covering the Hipsters and their unique facial hair of choice. While I’ve written about both Hipsters and facial hair in the past, I have never combined these two subjects until now. So, we cover The Hipster Mustache.

I wasn’t sure this unique style was still in fashion (Hipster fashion can go out of style as fast and mysterious as it came into the world) until I saw a recent photo of Tampa Bay LIghtning’s Ryan Malone and his playoff look:

If his modern-day Victorian ‘stache plus plethora of tattoos isn’t Hipster, I don’t know what is. He actually looks quite dapper in this picture, and if it weren’t for my strong disliking of the hockey team he plays for, I’d be curious to see how this Hipster mustache will look further into the playoffs.

Why is a Victorian-looking mustache Hipster? Well, for one, it’s all about the unexpected, or rather, in a related idea, the irony. The Victorian era is in the past, so to bring it back now is unusual. Case in point: Hipster fashion usually centers around The Three U’s: If something is Unexpected, Unusual, and Unique, then chances are, Hipsters will find it cool and approve of it.

Want more proof that Ryan Malone here, might be hiding his Hipster-status from the public? Well, below are some pictures of other such Hipsters sporting the once-again popular Victorian-era mustache:

The PBR is a dead give away.

The hat, the glasses, the mustache-wannabe. How very Hipster!

Oh gosh, this is so disturbing, yet only a Hipster would come up with this idea!

As you can see from just these few examples, the Ryan Malone is indeed sporting quite the Hipster Mustache. Let’s check once again if it meets The Three U’s. Is his facial hair of choice unexpected? You bet. That’s why I’m blogging about it. No ordinary hockey player would sport such a look. Is Ryan Malone’s mustache unusual? Well, for a Hipster, not necessarily, but it is for a hockey player, which is how we know him. And is the facial hair unique? It sure is. As you can see, he’s got both the Victorian mustache going in addition to some sideburns + chin stubble. It’s like he doesn’t know where he fits in: Hockey vs. Hipster? Ryan Malone will take both, thank you much.

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One response

18 05 2011
Brendon Rubin-Oster

Interestingly, the Lightning lost their first game in quite a while last night on the same evening you put together this post about a player on their team. Maybe you etched a curse on them with your analysis of Mr. Malone. If so, kudos to you!!

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